Happy 2024 film fam!
I’ve been gone for a hot minute but I’m feeling somewhat refreshed and ready to dive back into Newsletters and catching up with my gorgeous little community here.
I hope you’ve had a great start to the year, and if you had a bit of a rough one like me - trust that you get to start over fresh each and every day even if at times it doesn’t feel like it.
I’m so glad you’ve decided to come back after my little break, and I’m honestly surprised to see my Substack continue to grow even in my absence. Thank you to each of you who have come along on my wild little ride. We’ve almost hit 200 subs! I truly never expected more than maybe 10 or 20 people to ever read any of this, so it’s a little crazy to see that number now, wow!
So, Josie, what the hell have you been doing anyways?
I’m so glad you asked! I’ve been doing frankly too much - but at the same time I couldn’t be happier or more ‘in the zone’!
The end of 2023 I was at probably my lowest - I had an extremely rough year in terms of navigating disability and chronic pain, and personal issues as well seemed to keep popping up every time I thought I had a moment to catch my breath. Something had to give eventually. So before the end of the year I chose to take some time off to get back to basics, sort my shit out, and come out the other side with some clarity.
I’m proud to say I accomplished the beginnings of a breakthrough!
So let’s get into what I did, some of the things you missed out on, and what’s coming next. I’ll be popping in some photos, a link or two to Instagram (if you know, you know. I’m active there daily at the moment lol) and we’ll treat this Newsletter as a ‘catch all’ where everything can get crammed into one place.
As always these newsletters will still have the vibe of catching up with that one friend you haven’t seen in a while who’s just very passionate about all things film. So if that’s your kind of jam, you’re in the right place!
The next newsletter will be from my FREE series ‘Through My Viewfinder’ - storytelling of my 35mm Film Adventures with a focus on emotional connection, integrating my poetry and photography into the same space, and tales of me navigating my almost-thirties. So we’ll be back to regularly scheduled film adventures in no time.
Let’s get into it!
I took on a 30 Day Project as a last ditch effort to drastically change my life around - and it fucking worked?!
Whenever I’ve hit rock bottom, there’s always a little nudge from the universe to get me back on track. Many moons ago, I joined a poetry group. Following that was getting into Film Photography again - obsessively so. And this time around it’s more woo-woo stuff regarding Manifesting, positive mindset shifts, and taking baby steps towards a brighter future - the pathway I dreamed of and thought had closed for good.
I’ve been a follower of ‘Notes From The Universe’ for years, and Mike Dooley had a brand new course just in time for the new year - Love Your Life, 30 Day Adventure. I uhm’d and aah’d about it before I figured - fuck it, what do I have to lose, surely it can’t get worse than this?
It’s a really great little program where for 30 days you take small steps towards your goals while focusing on the present moment rather than obsessing about the ‘how’s’ and ‘why’s’ it may work. It involves things like future journaling (weird, but very cool), vision boarding which I’m already a massive fan of, affirmations - but not in a traditional sense, actually taking action and making a plan, getting out there and living your life regardless of how shitty you think it is, and so on and so forth. The best part? It took less than 10 minutes per day! And because I joined as it was going live, you could only unlock one day at a time instead of rushing through it which also helped.
I committed wholeheartedly to it and thought it was wishy-washy crap at first until by the end of the first week I noticed a small difference. I was getting my spark back and looking forward to journaling and carving out that small window each day to ‘put myself first’. I wasn’t dreading my future or breaking out in a panic attack, or setting off stress related eczema as much as I had been. It was really cool to see how quickly things changed once I got out of my own damn way and just did the damn things.
I completed the 30 day project and it was a really great starting point for me. I’m doing a second round but slower. Giving myself an extra day between to really sink into each lesson and to reflect/compare to my first round to see what goals and dreams are the same, and what is different. I’m surprised to see how much my ‘big goals’ have changed in such a short timeframe as well. They’re now more achievable, and purposeful.
Now I’m not here to sell you the program or anything - but I think the general idea of committing to a small and achievable project or goal for 30 days is really beneficial. It could be that you choose to read for 10 minutes before bed every night for 30 days, or that you sit out in the sunshine once a day, or journal for 15 minutes in the morning, or you go for a short daily walk, or meditate, or shoot 2 photos on film each day, or I don’t know.. Insert something you like to do here!
The possibilities are endless and I find a ‘reset’ that I can commit to and hold myself accountable to is really handy in getting me out of a rut. Let me know if you try something similar!
I pulled back how much I was pouring into others cups, and learned to fill my own first.
Even though this sucked and I felt immense guilt because I am a chronic people pleaser - I have overall been less bitchy and generally nicer to be around lol. I get easily overwhelmed and exhausted, my social battery runs out rapidly, and I’m in chronic pain 24/7 to boot. Team that with me trying to constantly put other people's needs and happiness before my own - I should have known I would crash and burn out massively.
This led me to learning to navigate some new boundaries within friendships and relationships overall. I realized I really fucking hate talking on video calls and talking to people every single night wears me out. I’m much more of a ‘feel free to text me daily but calls need to be scheduled please so I can prepare for them’ kind of girl. Little preferences and things like that.
I had a bad habit of not being able to say I was tired and needed to leave - and then to ‘catch up’ on spending time alone to unwind after a lengthy call, I’d ‘revenge procrastinate’ sleeping! I’d be up until 4am and then crash out, only to wake up at 9 and start the day grouchy. Rinse and repeat day in and day out for a whole year and I kind of lost my mind! Surprised I didn’t crack under that pressure sooner.
I want to help others, I want to be there for my loved ones as much as I can - but I have to be there for myself first and I can’t keep endlessly giving without first giving back to myself and replenishing my energy.
Being selfish in a healthy way isn’t something that is talked about enough - and I hope throughout the year as I navigate this new found space I’m carving out in my daily life to be ‘selfish’ - that perhaps I can shed some light on it.
On the plus side, I feel my connections have grown stronger, I’m more joyful and secure in them overall, and with this time I have reclaimed - I have more space to give to others when I have the capacity to. It’s a win-win really!
Non-negotiable daily “me” time so ensure I’m putting my health and wellbeing first.
I’m still navigating this and finding a pace that works - but I’ve carved out 2 or so hours every morning to allow myself to tackle all my disability and spinal recovery processes I need to do in order to function. This looks like slow ‘hot bitch’ walks on the treadmill or at a park, doing restorative yoga, meditation and mindful practices, somatic exercises, spine recovery, and the occasional strength training session when I feel energetic. I take time to do magnesium soaks every second day and stack that with journaling or reading for 30 minutes while I let the cute little foot bath my mum got me for Christmas to violently vibrate my legs into a weird jelly like state and eventually relax.
Yes - you heard that right, ya girl actually started journaling! After years of ‘thinking’ and harping on about it, I now do it every day. A single A4 page is ideal. If I’m really fatigued and in pain, 1-2 sentences is okay - but I try to push for a full page. It’s been a game changer. Getting all the noise out of my head has led to so much more clarity and problem solving ability for me. I can’t believe I waited nearly 3 years to get back into it properly. I don’t ever want to slip back to not journaling again, it's far too beneficial for me to ignore again.
I made it into a fun little ritual which increased my desire to commit to it. Around 7:30pm every evening I’ll set up a table with a little cloth, light a candle, put some soft background music on, pick out my fountain pens for the session (usually to match the mood and journals!), and then just sit and write until I feel like I’m done. It’s a gorgeous little gift to myself and it’s truly refreshing. Way nicer than just grumbling and sitting at my boring desk under harsh lighting to scribble away angrily!
I even managed to have enough time to do a sneaky little self portrait. It was the first time I used my Pro HMUA kit since August 2022 as well which brought up a lot of feelings for me to finally process. I packed my kit away and quit being a Hair/Makeup Artist as soon as my spinal injury kicked in and I was forced to grieve the loss of that side of my creativity. Somehow I convinced myself to carve out just one night to do a shoot, with zero pressure for it to ‘work’, purely for the fun of it and easing back into HMUA just for myself at least.
I’m really glad I did this, and I plan to make it a monthly or bi-monthly thing.
I somehow landed my fucking dream photography gig?!
I’m smack bang in the thick of the beginning phase of it and cannot wait to tell you more about it - but you’ll have to wait until the end of the month to see the first Photoshoot and all the extra bits involved!
What I can tell you is that back in December I got a surprising request for a Photoshoot - right up my alley of the 80’s vibe car and owner shoots I have become increasingly known for. I was not expecting it at all, my first proper (paid!!) gig since I took a year off for my spinal injury. I felt ready and was so ecstatic and yet a tiny bit worried I must admit.
I did SO much planning for it, like truly going above and beyond to make sure it was going to go exactly as I envisioned. I scouted the location and did a test shoot with my own car just so I could reassure myself that I’m capable of what I already bloody knew I could do! Still the ‘practice run ‘ settled my nerves massively and I was way more confident on the day of the actual shoot.
Everything was planned meticulously. I wanted to prove I was the right person for the job, and I wanted to prove to myself that I’m still capable of all the things I thought I had once lost for good thanks to my dumb spine.
It’s been such a journey. I got hit with imposter syndrome immediately as I drove home from the shoot and psyched myself out. I spent days not eating or sleeping and was sick with anxiety, fearful that my film wasn’t going to turn out - at least until I pulled it out of the dev tank and saw I didn’t fuck up. Instead it was ten times better than I could have imagined!
So here I am 2 weeks later - smack back in the middle of editing the rolls - and so fucking blown away and proud of the goddamn art I have created, and proud of how far I have come despite the seemingly endless struggles to get here. And yes, that may sound wanky and egotistical - but fuck, I am really good at what I do and this shoot is proving to me just how much I need to shut up that inner critic voice and trust that I’ve mastered my style.
I can’t show you a sneak peek of the actual shoot, and I can’t tell you any more than I already have. Of course you will see it in its full high definition glory really soon, and I’ve got at least 2 newsletters planned to go over it. So keep an eye out for it - and if you follow me on Instagram, you may just get a little glimpse every now and then!
If nothing else comes of it, then this was the most incredible experience and opportunity and every day I’m smiling from ear to ear thinking about how kickass and cool it was.
I purchased a ‘holy grail’ lens for my Ricoh Singlex TLS
Okay so kind of as a little reward for landing my dream gig, and also because I needed a faster 50mm - I got a Super Takumar f/1.4 - the one with the thorium oxide yellow glass - mmmmm that glowy radioactivity. It’s such a bloody gorgeous lens!
I saw Nick post about a new handful of M42 lenses on his IG NicksPicksAustralia - and I had previously purchased my Pentax ME Super from him a while ago. Before he even had a chance to list the lens, I basically said I’ll take it and pick it up the next day lol.
It’s the best thing I did for my TLS. It’ll be so much fun to shoot at night with artificial lighting I think. Those two extra stops of light are going to make a huge difference and open up a wider range for the shutter speeds for me. I’ll probably be able to get away with shooting Ultramax at box speed!
I’m definitely babying my TLS now, but if I’m really worried I’ll slap the old Auto Rikenon f/2 back on it for rougher shoots and casual days out and leave this stunning lens for portraits.
I’ve been invited to car shows - or well actually my 1991 GQ Patrol ‘Scorpion’ was invited - and I had an absolute blast attending!
Last week myself and Scorpion were invited to the AMMO x Stash launch. I was one of the few 4WD’s there amongst the classic JDM’s, old school mustangs, and of course the insane amount of Porsche floating around. But people loved her! She stood out like a sore thumb and yet she caught people’s eye! I shot 3 rolls of film - and frankly fucked myself up, setting off the worst Fibro Flare to date - but it was such an incredible experience overall. I don’t regret a thing.
I got to meet and hang out with Larry twice, he was such a warm and inviting guy and just chatted so openly and for as long as myself and my brother wanted to. He jumped on a plane from the US the day before and had a 23 hour flight just to get here to Sydney, Australia to launch his car care products! Now that’s dedication.
Truly this car show I was invited to was the nicest and most rewarding experience and I couldn’t think of a better first event for myself and Scorp. I adore the car scene and it was so nice to hang out with other enthusiasts.
Keen to develop the AMMO x Stash film next week as well.
I plan to attend many more car meets throughout the year (and hopefully showcase Scorpion again!). I have one lined up for this Sunday at a local cars and coffee style event.
Although for future meets I am trying to pivot towards only shooting film at the ones I’ve been invited to as a proper collab/exchange of services/contra, (or ones I just really really want to shoot and not because I feel like I ‘have to’) and I’m also focusing more on fully paid event work this year to cover the cost of film and chemicals for me to develop it + the end results people adore that only I can get - the classic ‘Josie On Film’ aesthetic. We’ll see how it all goes in time!
I'm finally organizing my next 35mm Film Workshop!
So, there’s some extra goodies I can’t mention yet but all will be revealed! I’ve been trying to scout some cool gear and film supplies for workshops and while not everything I had hoped would work has - there’s definitely some I managed to get my hands on that will be included.
I’m hosting a Car + Owner workshop from Sunset into Blue Hour and then a little into Night Time in either late March or mid/late April - depending on both my availability and the model + her car. I’ve already got everything sorted but I do appreciate all the amazing people who wanted to be involved.
Tickets will be released in March once everything is finalized - and it’s limited to just 5 people! I wanted to make this first one really intimate so I can focus on the specific film techniques that I’ll be showcasing and ensure everyone feels comfortable.
Future ones will be larger, and will cost more than this initial launch. So if you’re in the Sydney (NSW, Australia) car scene, or you just love the vibrant artificially lighted 80’s inspired style I have mastered and am known for - keep your eye out for the launch announcement. I hope to see you there!
Embraced a new side of my poetry - I want to dive deeper into this newfound writing practice.
I’m writing spicy shit, ohhh yeahhh! And also memoir based stuff too. But mostly I want to get the fuck out of my own way and not be afraid to write positive things. I have such a huge respect for poets who can write erotic poetry/stories in such a beautifully crafted way. It’s something I used to do years ago but fell off of because I didn’t have a community I felt safe enough to share more vulnerable work with.
I write a lot about trauma, and I write a lot about the SA and DV that I have unfortunately endured throughout my teens and early twenties. I’ve written about the horrific things I survived and the memories I struggle with to this day - but I haven’t really given myself the grace to write about the positive side of trauma recovery, of finding a safe loving connection, of feeling at home in my body and my skin again after so bloody long.
So on top of my daily journal practice, I plan to carve out 30 minutes to do whatever poetry related task I want. Maybe annotate old work, perhaps read another author, write an entirely new poem, work on a half finished one - whatever it may be. I want to take baby steps towards writing and releasing a chapbook, and then a full length collection.
And I know it’s going to be hard, but like all things I face head on - I know it’ll be worth it and I’ll be happy I did it in the end.
I have stopped giving a shit about what’s trending and started just shooting more 35mm Film for me!
The last month has really solidified for me how important it is to share not just perfectly curated images and showcasing a small snippet of the HUGE job that is my 35mm Film practice - but to share as much as I can.
I’ve started being more candid and honest about how my disabilities impact me after the physical labor involved in a photoshoot, developing the film, scanning the film, the 100+ hours of editing, and so on and so forth. It all absolutely wrecks me and there’s not a lot of talk in the community about the aftercare people like me have to take in comparison to others.
I’ve talked a little about the importance of me building a community that is here for me - not just the pretty end result pictures, but I want to dive into that topic more. So I started sharing more of my embarrassing moments, and what makes me - well, me. What makes ‘Josie On Film’ exactly that. What makes me a human learning and fumbling about just like you.
And the response has been incredible! So many other photographers are telling me on a daily basis its a breath of fresh air to see someone be fucking real about so many things and fearlessly share it rather than hide it.
Instagram doesn’t feel like as much of a chore anymore. It feels fun, and like a space I’ve really made for myself. I’m less worried about judgement, or how many people see/like my photos, or all of that shit that used to plague my mind.
I treat it like a weird live journal now - I share my journey wholeheartedly, mistakes and all, and trust the right people who need to hear and see that and feel less alone will find me. I’m not searching for an audience anymore - I’m just being me and know that the right people, clients, brands, events, etc will find me at the perfect time.
So I’m embracing my slow journey, and slow growth. Even on here too! I don’t mind if it takes me longer, I just want it to be joyful at the end of the day. And I’m so bloody excited to share so many goodies with you all, and to have another year of fun film adventures with you.
I’m glad I gave myself permission to create without perfecting it - and to share without it being ‘finalized’ - it’s so freeing.
I hope you can find that sort of freedom in your film practice too.
Thank you, so much!
I’m so happy you stuck it out till the end, cheers for being here and for sharing this moment in time with me.
Here’s what you can expect from ‘Josie On Film’ Substack in 2024:
My new FREE series is called ‘Through My Viewfinder’ posting every 2 or so weeks - road trip/storytelling narratives with a focus on emotional connection, poetry, and tackling my almost-30’s while trying to ‘find myself’
Some chit chat about navigating the creative industry as a person with dynamic disabilities.
Occasional free educational newsletters - such as recaps of content events, current film news, new camera gear or repairs I’m doing, film resources, etc. These will be more casual and much shorter.
More in depth and loooooong blogs that are full of all the technical info you’d ever want or need to know about learning specific film techniques - these will be a 1-2x monthly paid subscriber newsletter.
‘Behind The Scenes’ of client work and ‘First Look’ content will be split between some free and paid newsletters here on my Substack, and after approx 1-2 weeks the images will appear on my other websites.
I’m so incredibly grateful and proud of this little space I have carved out for all of you as well as for myself, and thank you immensely for joining me on this fun filled film adventure, especially as 2024 shapes up to be an absolute cracker of a year already!
Until the next roll, take care!
Xoxo Josie