Pruning For Growth
Cutting through the Winter Blues
Hey Film Fam, welcome back!
I’ve had such a full two weeks and had convinced myself I’d be ultra productive if I book 3+ appointments each and every day, and instead I’ve been more exhausted and burnt out than ever… oops. But to be fair I got so much done that I now have almost 10 days of absolutely sweet fuck all on - and I plan to go on a bit of a fun 35mm Film adventure in the Blue Mountains near Oberon again, with a potential for some snow chasing as the temperature drops further!
I hope the last fortnight for you has been a good one, or if it’s been a bit of a blah shitty one that’s okay too - I’m just glad you’re here hanging out with me for a bit. It’s so nice to see you again :)
As always these newsletters tend to be a bit rambly, photo heavy where possible, and have the vibe of catching up with that one friend you haven’t seen in a while who’s just very passionate about all things film. So if that’s your kind of jam, you’re in the right place!
Grab a coffee, settle in, and let’s get into it!
Exploring Loneliness
I’ve been leaning really deeply into some uncomfortable feelings - feelings that have heavily centered around not only my art but my ability to create art as well. I’ve sorted through all the gross bits and pieces, shuffled overwhelm out of the way, dug underneath that protective layer of anger - and the root of it all is unsurprisingly this lingering sense of loneliness.
I didn’t realize how it seeps into every aspect of my life until I started to pay attention to this ‘icky’ feeling I got every now and then.
Like when I’m awake into the early hours of the morning - because while I don’t have insomnia anymore, it’s more or less turned me into a permanently stressed night owl who has a serious case of ‘revenge procrastination’ and attempting to cram even more activities into the dwindling hours of the night - I’m hit with a little kiss of it. A little nudge of dread in the pit of my stomach as I notice that everyone is sound asleep - so it’s just me, alone, waiting for nothing in particular.
I hear it rumbling in a small corner of my skull when I’m driving alone through winding country roads, and my radio cuts out because the reception is bad, and now there’s nothing to distract me from it.
And as I’m loading yet another roll of film onto the reel knowing that I have 6+ hours ahead of me before I’ll talk to another person…